Wednesday nights, lately, this family has had a full schedule. Lilie Jo attends Awana, Bill hangs out at men’s small group and I’ve been leading the ladies’ small group. Tonight, though, I’m sitting on the couch with an under-the-weather little girl.

Tonight, my group of ladies is talking about one of my favorite devotionals. Their verse of inspiration is:

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

-Jesus in Matthew 18:3 NIV

The topic of discussion, specifically, covers prayer. Our way of communicating with God. As with all relationships, especially intimate ones, it needs to be honest and often. It doesn’t require fancy words or sugar coating. Just as a mother loves to hear the chatter of her little ones, our Father loves to here us. And God is big enough to handle it all. Our happy, thankful conversations, as well as our angry, doubtful ones. He just wants to hear us. Honestly.

I hated missing out on sharing this one with the group. But gladly sit here cuddled on the couch with a special someone. Its a verse and lesson I still hold in the front of my mind, though I first read it several, several months ago. However, I figured, instead, I could share/discuss it here. Its been a while since I’ve updated, anyway.

My beautiful little family is still working on putting more good habits in place. We’re still consistently working with a budget. Lilie Jo is learning/memorizing a new Bible verse every week. She asks almost every day if its a church day. He eagerness to grow and learn with the church makes me so happy. Bill has been very consistently working out the past few weeks. This week he picked up a workout partner from church.

I started practicing yoga, at home, this week. I’d like to make this happen at least 5-6 days a week. I understand things may interfere, but my goal is to make it habit. I had originally planned to get a gym membership and attend classes, and then I was suggested to check out Gaiam on Hulu. They even have training for family/children’s yoga. I love all I’ve done with them so far. They have an excellent and informative website with lots of great products, too.

After another week or two, I hope to leave the privacy of my own living room and venture out to attend a hot yoga class. Maybe by then I’ll be a little less sore and a little more flexible. I may have even found a yogi friend or two, already, through all my excited ramblings. Hoping they can teach me a thing or two.

 Is there anything new you’ve been working to integrate into your life? A new habit? A new hobby? Tell me about it.

Hey, darlin! Can you believe its even February already? Another ‘holiday’ is upon us. Yep, I’m talking about Valentine’s day. Warning, if you’re single and bitter, stop here.  However, if you’re married, engaged, committed or may ever even consider being so again, read, on, girl, read on.

Let me start off by asking you a simple question: What does the word grace mean to you? Beauty? Elegance? Class? Good form? Mercy? That’s kind of what I thought, anyway.  It was a pretty word which also worked as a lovely girl’s name. I heard and read about grace a lot in church, but it never really meant anything special for me personally.

During my quiet time one day, a year and a half ago, I was reading an excerpt from my favorite devotional, by Shelia Walsh, Good Morning, Lord. Walsh described the scene from Calvary when the criminal was saved as a ‘vivid picture of grace.’ She defined the word as ‘unmerited favor.’ She even went on to call grace unfair, for it is given despite the many or few good works one has done.

Unmerited favor. I remember looking further into this’grace’ word, that day and stumbled about another definition of the word. I can’t remember where I read it, but someone described grace as stooping to give mercy/love to someone below us.   Then and there, the word grace and all its heaviness suddenly sunk in.

Unmerited favor. Stooping.  I visualized my big, huge, powerful God, in all His perfectness, stooping to love on messy, dirty, sin-filled me.

How does that connect to Valentine’s Day? Its about making a successful marriage/relationship using grace.

Have you read the quote “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers?”  Its a good one, but I think its still missing something. I think it requires graceful forgivers.

I, personally have forgiven many people for many things, and vice versa. However, I may not have went on to nurture the relationship I had with them. Yes, forgiveness was given, but maybe not forgotten. Distance grew, maybe to protect myself and/or my child. Was that the godly thing to do? That’s neither here nor there. The point is, you can’t do that in a successful marriage and I’m sure you already know this.

Over the past year, in my new marriage, I have had some real hands on experience learning exactly what it means to give grace.  I won’t sugar coat it, its been a typical first year, I think. The honeymoon ended and we realized we really were stuck with each other. Even though we had been living together already, it was no longer just about the now, but also the future and how we were going to get there.

We both pretty well wanted the same things and to get to the same places. However, our plans for getting there weren’t quite parallel.  There was a lot of pushing and pulling in both directions. There were a few bad habits that needed to be changed and some good habits that needed to be started.

I’ll go ahead and admit that I’m by no means a perfect wife, but I want to share my experience with learning to give grace, in this post.

Mistakes were made and forgiven…. but not properly. Baggage, pride and a lack of grace were holding us back.

When my husband really messed up, I was bitter and found myself preparing for it to happen again. A defense mechanism, perhaps. I’d forgive him, but couldn’t forget it. It got to where I expected the mistakes. Slowly, our mistakes piled up between us.  His apologies become meaningless word vomit, to me. My critical words became daggers of truth to him.  His confidence went down along with my respect.

Then I read this amazing article and had a moment of conviction. I needed to stop focusing on him and focus on Him. I can’t fix my husband and my husband can’t fix me. So I started putting it in God’s hands, focusing on how I could be a godly wife and practicing giving grace. Yes, he’d messed up, often. But that’s what grace was all about: forgiving him and letting it go even if I didn’t think he deserved it….again.

And we’d said forever. It wasn’t about a feeling, rather the promise we’d made; not just to each other but to God.

Instead of always expecting mess ups, I’ve just been working on not expecting so much. I’m trying to zero my focus to making sure we succeeded this life together. Yes, that was always my intent: for him/us to succeed at life.  But now, my focus had changed a little. I wanted us to succeed at us. I started thinking of more ways I could help us. Even if it meant cheating.

You helped your marriage by cheating?! Not that kind. I mean like giving him the answers to the test. When I get to come home a little early, instead of worrying if he’d done what he’d told me, yet, I make a point to call or text him as a heads up. Then, if he hasn’t, he can scramble to get it done before I walked in the door to be disappointmented and/or frustrated. Should he need the heads up? Should he have just followed through with his word? Probably not and probably so. I don’t know, but I think that’s what grace is. You know, like a grace period for your bills, maybe?

Not earned/deserved. Its a gift.

What if he does it every day for a month? Does he still deserve that forgiveness? Grace says yes, he does. And should you hold back that just-because back rub because of his forgetfulness? Grace says give it anyway.

I have found that in my practicing grace, my anger and frustration is more quickly forgotten. This grace thing is so good for both of us.

Enough rambling. My point is, I want to change the quote, rather add something to it. A good marriage isn’t just about forgiving each other. You have to forgive gracefully. Over and over again, life every time is the first.  A successful marriage is the partnership of two graceful forgivers. They don’t forgive just because they’re supposed to, because the apology was good enough, because they owe it or because the person deserves it. They forgive because they love each other. The forgiveness is a gift. An unearned gift. One stooping to the other to lift them back up. Side by side, even.

For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created this grace and love inspired print for your taking. Its yours to do as you please. Pin it, print it, frame it, hang it. Maybe you could even send me a picture of where and how you put it on display?

Happy Valentine’s Day, love.

click here for 8.5” x 11” jpg file

Something wonderful and beautiful has started around here. We have started budgeting. I put my foot down and insisted we do it as part of our 2013 changes.  I’ve attempted several times before. Made a plan, created a spread sheet… you know the deal. But there was never any follow through.

I couldn’t do it on my own, though. Just like the rest of our marriage, it requires both of our efforts. Billy was never really taught much about managing money when he was growing up, which makes it all the more intimidating and frustrating for him. Together, though, we managed to make it through our first full month of budgeting, beginning to end.

There are all kinds of free spreadsheets and templates out there, but none made me happy. Being the control freak that I am, I thought it would be better to just make one myself. That way I would understand the whole thing and be able to make the changes here and there as I see fit.

We created our own spread sheet which displays out monthly projected and actual income, spending, savings, and bills.  We have several columns to divide up our different types of spending {bills, gas, grocery, eating out, church, misc…} and sections to record any notes or observations, as well as debt progress. I have a tab for every month this year so we can keep it all together. Then we share it in a private drop box folder so we both have access to updating the file at all times.

This really seems to be working out well for us so far.

The best part has really been our teamwork.  Not just with recording and paying the bills on time, but in holding each other accountable on the spending.  Now that we are both more aware of exactly what we have spent and where we stand financially {communication} we are getting better at saying ‘no.’  No to ourselves and no to each other.

Heck, we even have Lilie Jo in on the ‘no’ action.  When begging to go out to eat I told her exactly why we didn’t want to spend the money for a good time now, rather save it to buy our own home later.  I enticed her with the excitement of painting her bedroom what ever color she wanted, getting a new kittie {or two} and building tree houses in the backyard.  Next thing I knew she was questioning every thing I looked at or talked about in a store, “Do you need that, Mommy, or just want it?”  God has started using my five year old to build my self control, apparently. Great.

We weren’t perfect, our first month, for sure. We still have some spending we need to cut out. Recording everything, though, has brought that more to light.  We see our mistakes more clearly and plan to work on them.  February, so far, is getting off to a great start, as well.  For the first time in a while, we have several bills paid even though they aren’t even due yet. That feels awesome.  Having a stable, more predictable income sure does help. I can’t wait until Billy starts his new job.

Well, kind of.  I won’t lie, he’s gotten pretty darn good at holding down the fort.  I wish I could just get a hefty raise and then pay him to stay at home. I’ve hardly even been allowed to cook, lately. Don’t tell him I told you this, but he might even be better at it than me.  Over achiever….yeesh.

What goals have you been working on for 2013? What was your progress for January?

Marriage is not easy. Its not all butterflies, snuggles, holding hands and love letters. Its often uncomfortable, frustrating, and downright hard sometimes. Do I love my husband? Of course. Do I always like him? Next question, please.

I will proudly say, though, that I have grown so much in the past three and half years we’ve been together. I owe a lot of it to him. He is my best friend, an awesome partner, and my biggest challenger. He calls me out when I’ve crossed a line and backs me up when I’ve been challenged. He’s my biggest cheerleader but I still haven’t been able to get him in one of the uniforms.

Yes, this is a very old photo.

But like I said, it isn’t all fun and games. Since we’re still a young couple, its often rough and stressful. We’re both growing individually. We’re also still learning how to work together and take the other’s feelings and desires into consideration.

Lately, though, Billy–I mean Bill–has been working extra hard on himself. I’m pretty proud of him, so far. He came to me the other day and told me he wanted to start writing about his battles within himself. He’s working towards a better him. A better perspective, better habits and better decisions.

Though he’s no Hemingway, I’m sure his content will be valued by many. And on that note, I think you should go check him out over at his new blog: Becoming Bill. And don’t forget to tell him who sent you.

Oh my goodness, darlin’! This past weekend, we had our first ever legitimate family photo session. This customer could not be happier. I want to share some of my favorites that weren’t already posted on Facebook.

We went to a sweet lady I know in the Bowling Green area. I met Allison through one of my close friends, Autumn. She’d actually taken her girls to Allison a few times, herself. I’ve checked out her website several times just for the fun of it. So, when it came time for family photos, I knew exactly who I wanted to do them. Especially when that very week, she notified me of a photo contest she was putting on. That really sealed the deal right there.

We picked the location rather last minute. Another good friend of mine had actually posted a drive-by photo of this old condemned house just outside of town. As soon as I saw the photo, I knew that was it. I hurried to pull the location out of her so Billy and I could go check it out for ourselves. It was love at first sight, I guess you could say.

I feel like Allison really caught the love and togetherness of our little family. We’re an intimate little unit. We’re definitely not the ideal or perfect family, by any means. A little rough around the edges. Its a result of divorce, remarriage, three last names, ex-military, every other weekends away, self-improvement, sometimes chaos, crazy schedules and any number of other things at any given moment. But I like to think of it as ‘character.’ Like an old house. Lived in, worn, enjoyed to the last drop…. seasoned.

You know the saying “home is where the heart is?” Well, my heart is with them. Where they go, I go.  Where I go, they go. Our family may be little, but its strong and so full of character and love. I couldn’t be more blessed.

So, if you’re ever in the Bowling Green area and looking for a photographer, look Allison Wicker up. I can pretty much promise you won’t be disappointed. I can’t wait to get her work up on the walls.

During one of our visits to the public library, I continued to stroll some while Billy and Lilie Jo stood in line to check out their findings.  On one of the end caps, a title didn’t just catch my eye; rather it reached out grabbed me by the callar and said, “LOOK AT ME!”

So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore was written on the cover.  Whaaat?!  Its written by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Colemen.  What made me even more curious, than the title alone, was the weathered cover.  This bad boy was broken in quite nicely, which meant I was definitely not the only innocent passerby it had abducted.  But before you get all bent out of shape about the title, hear me out: its not what you think.  Well, kind of.

Billy is actually the one who checked the book out and read it first.  It was the first book he’d read in years.  The first one I’ve ever witnessed, for sure. He finished it in two days, which is another feat all of its own.  I’ve never seen him so affected.  Not even by a movie {which are his version of my books}.  Then I got my hands on it.

This book, which is actually written in a fictional story form, fed my hunger for having a relationship with the Father even more.  The book takes the focus off of the church as an organization/building.  It reminds us that we won’t find a relationship with God there.  The book points out that part of Jesus sacrifice was not just freedom from sin, but freedom to have our own relationship directly with God anytime, anywhere.  The church cannot provide that for us.  When I say relationship, I mean a real, life relationship with Him.  As in an exchanging of communication and/or actions between/for one another.

It also changed my full definition of being set free through the crucifiction.

I almost ran out of sticky notes, there were so many awesome passages.  Let me share a few of my favorites?

The more he grew to trust God’s love, the freer he was from those desires that consumed him. Only by trusting Jesus can anyone experience real freedom.

page 47

…it simply respects the process God uses to bring people into truth. I’m not talking about different things being true for different people, but about people discovering that truth in different time frames. If we hold people accountable, they never learn to live in love. We’ll reward those who are better at putting on a front and miss those who are in the real struggle of learning to live in Jesus.

page 51

Scripture doesn’t use the language of need when talking about the vital connetion God establishes between believers. Our dependency is in Jesus alone! He’s the one we need. He’s the one we follow. He’s the one God wants us to trust and rely on for everything. When we put the body of Christ {church} in that place, we make an idol of it, and we end up wrapped in knots over such a situation. Religion survives by telling us we need to fall in line or some horrible fate will befalls us… We share body life {church} together, not because we have to, but because we get to.

page 62

That’s where religion has done the most damage. By making people dependent on its leaders, it has made God’s people passive in their own spiritual growth. We wait for others to show us how, or even just follow them in hopes that they’re getting it right. Jesus wants this relationship with you and he wants you to be an active part in that process.

page 112

Seriously, I could go on and on here, but I’d probably end up copy and pasting the whole book.  If there is anything I’ve ever wanted you to do most, its reading this book.

Whether you’re a believer, skeptical, against it or just testing the waters: read it.

Curtis was a school-age friend of my little brother that carried over to adulthood.  His parents grew up in the same small country community as ours.  Little did we know, Ariel, my little sister, held a secret crush for the family’s favorite friend.  Ariel and Curtis started dating around the same time as Billy and I {Summer 2009}.  Because of how crazy they were about each other, no one was shocked {or upset} when he proposed.

They both glowed with happiness and excitement on their wedding day.  I’m so incredibly happy for them both.  I pray for happiness, communication, dedication and compromise in their relationship forever.

Welcome to round three of the wedding photos.  Today, I’m sharing photos of the whole wedding party {minus the flower girl}. I’ve just thrown a few of my favorites together, here, for you to look through.

Be sure to keep a close watch on the blog.  I cannot wait to share the photos of the couple together.  There’s so many, I might just have to break it up into two more parts.  You might even want to subscribe by email just to make sure you don’t miss out on these babies.

In case you’re just joining us, my little sister recently got married.  After being so pleased with her prom photos {done by me}, she gave me the choice of being in the wedding or photographing it.  For the experience and as a gift {that would save her tons} I chose the photography.  The hair and makeup were a given.

For those of you who have been hanging around fo a while, I’m sure you’ve started wondering whether or not I’m going to share these wedding photos at all.  I decided to use them to keep you company while I’m out of town visiting family in Nebraska.  Lilie Jo and I will be gone for a whole week.  I’m sure Billy will be a bit relieved to clear out some of the estrogen in the house.

For today, I’m going to share photos from the bride’s side of the wedding.  Then next week, the fellas, the whole party and the couple.  That’s four days of posting, so I’ll start today, just to keep from making you wait any longer.

What do you think?!  Isn’t she gorgeous?!  Now, keep in mind: this was my first time photographing a wedding.  It was definitely a bigger job than I expected.

To see more of the wedding, check out the Facebook page.

My weekend was busy, nonstop and lightening speed.  My baby sister isn’t that annoying little tattle-tale following me and my cousin around, anymore.  She’s a confident, beautiful, happy, young woman.  Her wedding day was perfect and dream-like–everything she dreamed, I hope.  I’m so happy for her and incredibly ecstatic about this brother-in-law that already felt like a brother.

I just have these two photos, from the wedding, to share for now, but I can’t wait to show you more.  I’m still recuperating.  Wedding photography is more physical than I realized.  Don’t judge me for complaining about how sore I am from running, kneeling, standing, climbing and swimming.  It was more than worth it, though.

How was your weekend?