As a child of divorce as well as a mother who’s experienced divorce, I’ve had a lot of experience {good and bad} with step parents.  In fact, you might say I’m an expert–figuratively speaking.

I’ve read and heard a lot of advice for how to parent children as a step parent as well as advice for parenting after divorce.  But its all from experts and books.  Do these people know from experience?  Or just studies?

I can’t say that I never hear much advice about how to parent with the other parent’s opinions and feelings in mind.  How to parent together.  Both of which I believe are important.

You know, like from a dad to a stepdad and mom.  Why?  Well, I guess its a touchy subject and I can completely see why.  These relationships are {most of the time} already testy and fragile for obvious reasons.  So, why push it, right?

But then, how does one know what waters to tread lightly in, in oder to avoid more controversy?  I’m a mom and have never been a step mom, so I don’t know what its like to be a dad, step dad or step mom.  But I do know exactly what it feels like to be a mother of a child I love and adore.  So, how do we approach such a topic?  I have no idea.  I’ve been trying to figure that one out for a while and still have had no success.  Let me know if you find something.

This is where I’m going to write it out instead.  It might not be right, but its the best I’ve been able to figure out.

Today, I want to share my top five tips of  divorced parent etiquette, the director’s cut.  The respectful way to parent, perhaps.  I hope this finds all divorced and step parents and at the same time doesn’t step on any toes.

My first tip is this: as long as the biological parent is present and holds a strong relationship with the child, do not ever ask, suggest or force a child to call a step parent ‘mom’ or ‘dad.’  They already have that figure and its disrespectful to overlook that.  I feel as long as that parent is doing their job and making an honest effort, they have earned the title with that child.  No one else.  To me, ‘mom,’ ‘mama,’ and ‘mommy,’ are terms of endearment that were earned with nine months of sharing my body, breast feeding, nights with little sleep, tons of diaper changes, sharing my bed only to get kicked all night, doctors’ appointments and so on.

I love my baby and have pretty much devoted my life to her.  I do not like the idea of my girl calling another woman ‘mommy.’  As much as Billy would love to have his own blood coursing through Lilie’s veins, she’s not his; and there have been numerous times she has called him ‘daddy’ only to be reminded of who her real daddy is, because he has earned that title and deserves it.  Billy respects the fact that her father is present and important to her, and that is why we do this.

Second.  When it comes to parenting decisions such as major hairstyle changes, learning to shave, ear piercings, the sex talk, etc., always run it by the parent on the other side of the fence and find an agreement before proceeding.  Though they may not seem like a big deal to you, but they can be to others.

Number three.  If there is something you know the parent on the other side of the fence would not let their child do, you might want to refrain from going against that.  If you feel strongly about your decision, talk to them about it first.  They may have a pretty good reason for making said rule that you may not know of or have thought about.

My fourth tip is to never, ever, ever talk bad about the other parent in front of the child.  Ever.  I can promise you, you will not see anything positive come from this for a few reasons.  For one, you’re only making yourself look bad.  Two, what are you teaching this child by talking negative behind someone’s back? Especially someone they love.  Three, what’s going to happen if/when that child repeats said remark to the talked about parent?  Do really even want to deal with it?

And my fifth and final tip is just to keep respect in mind.  Always remember to put yourself in the other parent’s shoes.  Always remember who helped bring this child into the world.  Always remember your way is not the only way and your way may not always be the right way.  You don’t know exactly how that child lives, acts or is parented at the other home.  And when in doubt, don’t.  Just don’t.  Call the parent and explain the situation.  Ask what they think.  I can promise you your good thoughts and intentions will not go unnoticed.

And that about does it.  I hope that helps someone.  Maybe even a torn child that doesn’t want to speak up them selves, for fear of hurt feelings.  I also hope I didn’t cross any of the wrong lines writing and posting this.

Hello friends! Lilie received a special little package the other day.  I’m excited to finally share another piece of our December Omaha trip with you.  There’s several little treasures hidden in that city.  If you ask me, the whole town’s a treasure.  But today, I’m talking about a little art studio which goes by the name of ‘Its Yours Pottery.’

During my first trip to Omaha, many moons ago, I visited a couple of art galleries in the downtown Old Market {which is another secret treasure in its self}.  I was introduced to the craft of  glass fusion and instantly fell in love.  I was completely fascinated and had to get my hands on it.  I looked it up to see if there was anyone who could show me more before I went home.  That’s when I discovered this little jewel and made my first visit.

There I was able to create a little pendant.  It really didn’t turn out to be too much, since I had no experience, but I cherish the piece I came out with.  I heavily dreamed and looked into  purchasing my own tools and supplies to start practicing the art back home.  Now, the glass fusion jewelry is booming {at least around here}.

So, on our last visit to Omaha, Teeyl and I thought it would be fun to take Lilie down there to mess around on the pottery side of their services.  She picked out a little angel ornament to work with.  We grabbed a table and some pretty glazes and put her to work.

Since the firing and cooling process wouldn’t be finished ’til after we had to leave, Teeyl just packaged and mailed it to her.  Its adorable and filled with a sweet little memory for us to share.

So, if you’re ever in town and looking for a great activity {adult or family} check this place out.  I actually suggest you check out the calendar on their website too.  They have some pretty great classes and events for all ages.

Finding a good children’s activity that the rest of the family won’t drag through can sometimes be a challenge.  The Omaha Children’s Museum, however, is not one of those places.  Omaha’s Children’s Museum is actually a blast for everyone.

We first discovered the museum on last year’s Easter visit.  Billy and my Dad were about as entertained as Lilie.  They have several different activity areas such as pretend play, arts and crafts, dress up and theater, a ball factory, small inside playground and an area that welcomes traveling venues.

On this last trip to Omaha, we made two visits to the museum.  Their upstairs area was, at the time, home to a dinosaur exhibit, which Lilie loved.  They had several large dinosaur displays and hands on activities.  Lilie was able to smell dino poop and breath, neither being very pleasant, if you ask me.  She also got to feed a dinosaur which seemed to just make her day.  They also had a little winter light-show we were able to pop into.

The ball room always takes up most of our time.  It reminds me of a factory type setting which little plastic balls can be dropped into several different places and then travel around the room and are dropped, thrown or shot out of another hole.

I think one of my favorite activities was the theater and dress up.  Their costume selection is fabulous!  I’m actually planning to attempt a recreation of their butterfly.  Its adorable, unique and really didn’t look to hard to make.

Lilie was also able to attend a sort of theater workshop while we were in town.  A local actress came in and lead a group of kids through some acting and role playing to illustrate a Japanese story.  The best part?  You only had to pay the museum entry fee and send an email to reserve a spot to participate.  Easy and no extra expense.

So, if you’re ever in the area, I highly suggest you check out the Omaha Children’s Museum.  Make sure you set aside at least two hours for fun and exploration.

What a great week it has been, here, in Omaha.  We’ve been here visiting my Dad and not-so-wicked Stepmom since Monday and today is our last.  Yep.  They’re so happy we’re leaving, they’re throwing a party just for us tonight.

haha.

What an eventful year it has been, for this little family.  Recap with me?

We started the year off with lots of changes.  We started our year in a new home, in a new town, and with a completely new routine.  Lilie started full time daycare, Billy changed schools, I started college {again}, and moved salons {of course}.  I started this blog in February.

Are you still with me? That was just the first third of the year.

When school let out for the summer, I quit my job, took Lilie Jo out of daycare and babysat for a close friend {land of little girls?}, while Billy worked.  I tried my hand at herb gardening.  Unfortunately, I made my decision to a little too late and had little success.  However, my commitment to self improvement and consistently writing about it all Summer was a success.

Billy and I also got engaged, this past summer.

This Fall, Billy and I were still in school and Lilie has started a new one.  We surprised our friends and family {ish} with planned runaway wedding in Charleston.  After that, life kind of gave us a break so we could just focus on family and school. Things have definitely seemed less eventful for the past couple months.

I think my favorite part of the whole year, though, was probably the warm, simple, happy times of the summer.  This past summer was a great one.  Life was just so simple and full of happiness and life.

Tomorrow, I want to publish my New Year resolutions.  I want to put them out into the world in hopes of better hippy juju energy.  And in hopes that you might help hold me accountable.  So, be thinking of yours so you can share!

What was your favorite moment of 2011?

I hope you’ll share in the comments.

Thanksgiving is upon us.  My favorite holiday.  And yet I can’t help but feel a little disgusted.  Give me a moment to rant, would you?

Frankly, I’m pissed {excuse my language}.  I’m pissed off at the  commercial industry an what its done to the holiday season.  Its as if Thanksgiving no longer even matters.  They’re just in a hurry to push it out of the way so they can sell more crap to an already financially weak people.

Black Friday, for most stores, now starts at midnight.  Midnight!!  Are you kidding me?!  And we wonder why other countries think we’re so superficial.

Ok, enough of that.  Moving on to more joyful subjects.

I have a great recipe to share with you. Not one of my own, but yummy, none the less.  Butternut squash soup.  From scratch.  Its easy, quick and healthy.  The recipe tells you to peel the squash.  Well, that led to a broken veggie peeler and a bit of frustration.  My super smart cousin, Lauren, however suggested baking the squash for a while and then scraping the ‘meat’ away from the skin.  Sounds much easier.

Saturday was the Christmas parade in our home town.  We’ve missed taking Lilie to the parade the past couple of years.  Honestly, I probably haven’t been since high school.  So, we filled our travel mugs with hot cocoa and made our way downtown.

Monday, was Lilie’s Thanksgiving dinner at school.  Though I was a bit under the weather and missing an appetite, I refused to miss it.  We had the pleasure of eating with little Frankie and her daddy, as well.  I love participating in these school activities with her.  Memories in the making.

They had made little pilgrim hats {which were adorable} so that night, we made Native American head bands.  Lilie loved the idea so much, she insisted on making several extra to share with her friends.  Great little arts and crafts activity for her.  She loves this stuff.

Like I said before, I love Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for and this is a time to celebrate just that.  But I would like to remind you this isn’t the only time of year we should reflect on all that we have to be thankful for.  We need to remember to do this more often, throughout the year.

I’m thankful for my family, my friends, my general good health, the roof over my head, the reliable car in my garage, the food in my belly, the right to worship my God the way I see fit, and the right to be a strong, independent, educated woman.

I’m also ever so thankful for you, my dear readers.  I’m so thankful for the time you take out of your day to sit down and read what I have to say.

Thank you so big!!

The other night Lilie had one of her little friends over to play.  The little girl’s mom came over and told her she needed to come home for dinner.  Before I knew it, Lilie had scooted off with them {we basically share backyards}. I sent the mother a message to send Lilie back home.

Lilie comes home, I explain why she needs to wait until they’re finished eating before playing again.  Then Billy pokes in.  “I don’t think they do dinner the like us.”  What?  What’s that supposed to mean? “I mean, I don’t think they all sit around the table or anything.  They just sit wherever and eat.  Usually in front of the tv.”

Oh.  Well, ok.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this, lately.  In fact, I don’t know if I know of anyone {other than my grandparents} that does still gather around the table for dinner.  No one even makes an effort.  Apparently, its just whatever.

Or maybe some how along the way, I’ve just become old fashion.

Gasp.

But why?!  Is it just laziness?  Do people not realize why its important? Or maybe they just don’t really care.

So, just in case you or maybe someone you might know is one of the innocents that just doesn’t realize the benefits, I’ve put together a list of why I think you should try to start incorporating this family habit.

• Bonding & Communication –> Turning the tv off and gathering around the table gives ample time for talking aka getting to know each other.
• Manners –> Dinner time is also the perfect time to teach the kids some table manners.  As frequent as they seem to be used, these days, your little one will shine during dinner parties and outings.
• Nutrition –> Everyone knows eating out is not just unhealthy for your wallet, but your body, too.  And who doesn’t want healthy kids?
• Knowledge –> Kids these days are totally missing out on the planning and preparation of meals.  So, what happens when they leave the nest?  They continue the same eating habits they’ve had.  Dinner at home together and a great way to instill this knowledge and habit.
• Research –> Studies show several ways this can be beneficial.  Kids are less likely to smoke, drink, do drugs and have higher academic performance.  Girls have more physical confidence and are less likely to have eating disorders.
• Money –> You wouldn’t believe how much money can be saved by just fixing dinner at home with your family.

So, what legitimate reason do we have to not eat dinner together?  I certain can’t think of any.  And maybe we are old fashion, at least in this department.  But you know what?  I don’t give a hoot.

Won’t you join me?  Let’s take back dinner time.  Lets bring our families to the table again, whether they like or not.  They’ll learn to like it.  The results are more than worth it.

Where do you stand on this topic?  Do you eat together or no?  How do you feel about the situation?

Happy Friday, friends!  The weeks sure do seem to just zoom by, now that school is in full swing.  Its crazy.  It helps when Billy is able to be at home with us, though.

He’s been having a lot of pain in his hip {like an old man needing a hip replacement}.  We went down to the VA hospital in Nashville, Monday, to get it looked at and after five hours, they couldn’t tell him anything.  Talk about a big fat waste of time.

He did, however, get to take a week off from work so let his body rest and heal some.

So, here I am linking up to Lindsay’s Little Things Party, again.  I’ve had lots of little smiles this week {and lots of big}.  Won’t you let me share just a few?

I’ve loved the extra family time we’ve been able to share this week.  Watching my Illies laugh and play together warms my heart like nothing else.
 

For months, now, I’ve had a big ugly crack running across Lulu’s windshield.  Well, I finally talked to the right person and was able to get it fixed…withOUT the big bill.  Cha-ching.

We’ve been living near this really cool place for a while.  Its called Lost River Cave.  They have hiking trails and do boat tours into this neat little cave.  Every chance we think of it and have the time to go, its recently rained.  That causes the water to rise too high for tours.

Well, we finally remembered on a pretty sunny day.  So we did it!  They have a great gift shop full of locally made crafts and goodies.  Lilie thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Who loves Olive Garden?  I love Olive Garden.  Its easily one of my very favorite restaurants.  And one of my favorite dishes is they chicken and gnocci soup.  So, I looked it up and found a copy-cat recipe.

It was sooo good.  I made it for dinner last night, using all fresh veggies.  It was a perfectly chilly day for it, too.

This morning, we took Bogie to school with Lilie.  Today is her day to be Student of the Day.  So, she was allowed to choose one thing to bring from home to share with the class.  A kind of show-and-tell thing.

She chose to take Bogie.  We gave him a bath last night to make she he was looking his best and loaded him up in the car this morning.  None of which made him happy.

Lilie was thrilled.
 

So, my week went swimmingly. How was yours?

In the comment section, share one thing that made you smile this week.  Can’t wait to hear from you!

P.S.  We are taking a family vacation to Charleston in October.  I’m looking for guest posts to share while I’m away.  Let me know if you’re interested.

Morning friends!  Friday at last!  The weekend is upon is and a busy one, I expect it to be.  My Dad and stepmom are coming to visit.

Each year, my family chooses a family in need {usually medical} and holds a big golf tournament to raise funds to help support the family.  The tourney is held at the same golf course every year.  It started as a memorial when my uncle died and has been going for over ten years, now.

But enough about that.  I’m joining a link party!  Remember my attitude check, last week?  Well, this week, I’m linking this one up to Lindsey’s Its the Little Things link up party.  Here we go!

Billy and I had lunch, Sunday, at our favorite Nashville restaurant, Demo’s.  I love the way they do sweet tea.  

They only make unsweetened, but give you this little pitcher of liquid sugar.  You can then make your beverage as sweet as you like and it mixes in just perfect, instead of settling to the bottom after a little while. Such a clever little idea.

This pretty little thing surely has made me smile this week.  A new mug!  I love finding a pretty new mug. 

The mere purchase of this ginormous canvas had me doing a little dance.  More photos to come on its finale.

This sudden burst of chilly weather has made for several perfect cardigan & scarf days. Love.

Playing with Lilie always makes me smile.  She decided we should build helicopters with her legos.  Grand idea, but with little success.  We had fun pretending it looked like a helicopter, though.  

She’s decided it would be a good idea to put her toys away when she finishes playing.  We’ll see how long this lasts.

Another thing responsible for a few smiles this week: pumpkin spice.  We have been frequently stopping into TJ Maxx to check their coffee supply.  They have several brands to choose from {including Starbucks} at relatively decent prices.  They’re not cheap brands, so you can expect to pay more than $3 or $4 a bag, but its worth it.

This is the one we tried this time and I’m loving it.  We went back for another flavor in the same brand.  Oh how I love pumpkin spice.

And you?  How was your week?  Anything spectacular happen?  Or maybe something small that lifted your spirits a bit.  

In the comments below, share something that made you smile this week.

Hope your weekend is lovely!

At last, at last.  Friday has come.  Ok, so I haven’t really been itching for it to hurry up at all.  Really. I actually feel as if the week has zoomed by.

My classes are great and my teachers seem quite likable.   One, I’ve had prior and adore {she’s my hero}.  My drawing teacher’s kind of cute {I love telling Billy that, anyway}.  Also, I haven’t been handed a crap ton of homework, yet {which is a huge plus}.

 However, getting back into the routine of school while also working around everyone else’s schedules, is some work.  At least, it takes some getting used to.  I’m not going to lie.  Its exhausting.

I fear, with so much going on, eventually it will be very easy to get frustrated.  I have devised a plan in order to keep my eyes on what’s important and my heart in good spirits.

Every Friday, I want to take a minute to sit down and recollect all the blessings I’ve experienced for the week.  I want to record them here.  Sort of a Fortune Friday, if you will.  A post for all that made me smile that week.

Ok, so maybe not all that made me smile….But my top picks, I suppose.

An attitude refresher.

Lets get this party started.

Adorable vintage Ad I found at the Nashville flea market.  Love it.

Lilie’s art makes my heart melt.  She’s developed so much skill
over the past three weeks of school.
Much to look forward to!

I adore the way she finds my headbands and chooses to wear them.
She wore her hair like this all night.
Simple and yet so cute.

Hobby Lobby shopping spree.  ’Nuff.  Said.

I love the feeling of being in the studio.
I can’t even describe it, but I can promise its a good thing.

Lilie and I painted the book shelf {finally}.
Still one or two more steps for this
process, but I love how its looking. 

And you?  What made you smile the most this week?  Favorite memory?  Event?  Moment? Please share!

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may have read a post, this morning, similar to what I’m about to share.

Something is strongly on my heart this morning and I feel the need to get it out there.

Lilie started school on Monday and I couldn’t have been more happy or excited for her.  Its an all day, 8:00-3:00, days a week program at a private Lutheran school.  The fact that we’re able to provide something like this for her is a big deal to me.

When people ask me about her first day, I always get questions like, “Are you nervous?” and “Yes, but how did mommy handle the first day?”  Well, mommy handled the first day just fine.  The second day was just as easy.

And then there was today.  Day number three.  I think I’m one of those people that has to chew on things for a bit before I get the full effect.

I pulled up into the drop off line, just like the past two days.  A teacher opened Lilie’s door to help her out, just like yesterday.  We exchanged kisses, I-Love-You’s and I wished her a good day and she hopped out….just like yesterday.

 But as I watched her trot into the school and pulled the car away, it hit me.  ”Look how far we have come,”  I thought to myself.  My eyes filled with tears, as I became so overwhelmed with thankfulness.

I thought back to when her father and I separated.  How my life seemed to just fall apart in front of me.  All my plans, dreams, goals.  Crushed.  I had no clue how I was going to support us both and give her the life I so badly wanted for her.  

A point in my life where I had lost all faith.

 Now, here we are just two and a half years later.  We have a lovely home, a nice car, good clothes to wear, healthy food in our bellies, a great school with a godly environment for Lilie, we belong to an awesome church and we’re accompanied by a loving, loyal man to help and support us all the way. 

{Summer 2010}

I’m a planner.  A control freak.  When things didn’t go my way, I threw my hands in the air and faith to the wind.  I focused solely on supporting my daughter and surviving this life.  I knew what I wanted, but just kind of put that all on the back burner and just focused on doing what needed to be done. 

{Fall 2009}

I often look back on that time in my life and every time I do, it seems I find a new lesson being taught.  Through all the storm clouds, I now see so many rays of sunshine beaming through.

Today, I look back, again, and find something new I think God was trying to communicate to me.  ”Let go.  I have a plan.  Take a break and let me take care of things.”

Remember that control-freak nature I admitted to having?  I think God was using that event in my life to remind me I’m not the one in control.  He is.  I was just holding on so tightly, it took a really good shaking up to make me see things His way.  At a time I was so strong in my faith, I still couldn’t just give Him control.

Its only nine in the morning and the Lord has already reminded me of such a valuable lesson.  To have faith and let go.

 To trust He will get us where we need to be.

 I’d like to share a couple verses with you:

‘‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’’ Isaiah 41:10

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Have you ever experienced a life altering moment, only to look back and see that maybe it wasn’t to hurt you, but to teach you and build you up to be the person you are now?  

I hope you’ll share your lessons in the comments below.