Lately, work has been piling on the stress and raising the yuck-factor. We’re very short handed and I’m struggling to cover the hours myself as well as cover my regular duties. The hardest part isn’t the amount time working, rather the amount of time not working. The salon is stealing more and more hours away from my family. Stealing time from my little girl, whom won’t be little forever.

When I don’t have to be concentrating on work, I’m trying to keep only lovely things in mind. Digging in the dirt and climbing trees with Lil. Getting lost in a doodle. Escaping to a faraway land in a novel. Drinking margaritas with my main squeeze. Also, I’m just trying to enjoy being home, in this haven of ours.

Another source of relief is resting in the fact that I don’t have to do it alone. I know its hard right now for a reason. This wall has not been set here to stop or discourage me, rather make me stronger. I know I will benefit from this hard time somehow. This past Sunday’s message has proven to be right on time, I suppose, now that I think about it. I am an overcomer.

Also, I’m keeping this verse in mind:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

 -Romans 8:18

Trees are budding, flowers are blooming, temperatures are rising and Spring is in full swing. Change is in the air and I can’t quite figure out if its just the seasons or something in me, too. This girl just can’t sit still, huh? Whether its inspiration, eating habits, routines, or profession related, I feel like I’m constantly itching for something fresh and new. Funny considering my fear of change. But hey, I’m a woman, after all. I like to call it growth.

I’m antsy in my career, itching in my location and absolutely starving creatively. My mind feels stale and unfulfilled, like part of me is missing. I finally promised myself to intentionally pull out my pencil and paper to doodle and draw more with plans of pulling my ink and brushes back out. I’ve been wantint to experiement with watercolor for several months now, anyway. Why not start with the basics of technique with black and white only, which I already have {and save money}. I’ve been playing more with lines and patterns than illustrations. Also, I took my camera everywhere this weekend, as I’ve missed playing with the natural light.

I think what I really need is a getaway. A change of scenery to get away from the repetition which has me in such a rut. My mind needs renewed and refreshed. Alas, it will be at least Summer ’til we can get away like that. I foresee a day trip to Nashville in the very near future, at least, though.

But for now, I’ll just have to keep trucking along, knocking on every potential door of opportunity I come to. Eventually someone will answer the right one. The sooner, the better.

I have a confession to make. All my life I have been scared of rejection. So much so that I used to beg my siblings to ask for permission anytime we needed it. I know, I know: the worst that could happen was them say ‘no.’ Yeah, but in my head it felt/feels like more than that. I can’t even describe it accurately. Its not just rejection I fear now, though, but also change.

Lately, I’m coming to the realization that getting a job in the creative field will be no easy task for me.  Just achieving my degree seems so far out, still. Much less getting an actual job. And what could a career move, right now, mean for my family? For our lives? What other changes might it require? Its terrifying and scary, to think about.

Over the past month or so, a recurring theme seems to exist in my observations: have courage and go for it. Whether it be about taking risks, chasing after your dreams or having faith that God will see me through it. Its constant. Even my stepmom said these words to me in an email just this morning: Take a deep breath and jump. The strange part was the effect those words seemed to have on me. I instantly felt emotional and I can’t even tell you why.

The job I have now is a good one that gives me management experience and a good paycheck. Its not fulfilling for me, though. Its just a stepping stone. I’ve been praying and begging for signs as to what I should do with my career for months. Lately, I started seeing lots of design opportunities on Craigslist. And then a former peer contacted me with some design work to have done. My designs skills being needed felt great after several months with no classes/projects.

Today, though, my train of thought was ambushed. My dream company posted a link with a job opening. I was excited at first, and then the thoughts of rejection and change took over. Me? They wouldn’t hire me. They are so awesome its intimidating. And change? Holy cow, that would be a big change for us.

I’ve been praying for signs, asking God to scream the answers at me so I don’t miss them. But maybe they’re already there. Maybe I’ve already been seeing them, just not with the right perspective. Maybe all those messages weren’t just coincidence. Maybe those were the signs.

Maybe that’s why my stepmom’s words were so moving. It wasn’t the words, rather the realization. Maybe He’s telling me to go for it. Don’t be scared, He’ll take care of us. My dream career isn’t something I’m going to bump into. Its something I’m going to have to chase after. That might require me running and getting a little out of breath. I might trip and fall. It might even turn around and stick its tongue out at me when I’m lagging just out of reach.

Maybe it will require me to take a deep breath and jump.

Wednesday nights, lately, this family has had a full schedule. Lilie Jo attends Awana, Bill hangs out at men’s small group and I’ve been leading the ladies’ small group. Tonight, though, I’m sitting on the couch with an under-the-weather little girl.

Tonight, my group of ladies is talking about one of my favorite devotionals. Their verse of inspiration is:

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

-Jesus in Matthew 18:3 NIV

The topic of discussion, specifically, covers prayer. Our way of communicating with God. As with all relationships, especially intimate ones, it needs to be honest and often. It doesn’t require fancy words or sugar coating. Just as a mother loves to hear the chatter of her little ones, our Father loves to here us. And God is big enough to handle it all. Our happy, thankful conversations, as well as our angry, doubtful ones. He just wants to hear us. Honestly.

I hated missing out on sharing this one with the group. But gladly sit here cuddled on the couch with a special someone. Its a verse and lesson I still hold in the front of my mind, though I first read it several, several months ago. However, I figured, instead, I could share/discuss it here. Its been a while since I’ve updated, anyway.

My beautiful little family is still working on putting more good habits in place. We’re still consistently working with a budget. Lilie Jo is learning/memorizing a new Bible verse every week. She asks almost every day if its a church day. He eagerness to grow and learn with the church makes me so happy. Bill has been very consistently working out the past few weeks. This week he picked up a workout partner from church.

I started practicing yoga, at home, this week. I’d like to make this happen at least 5-6 days a week. I understand things may interfere, but my goal is to make it habit. I had originally planned to get a gym membership and attend classes, and then I was suggested to check out Gaiam on Hulu. They even have training for family/children’s yoga. I love all I’ve done with them so far. They have an excellent and informative website with lots of great products, too.

After another week or two, I hope to leave the privacy of my own living room and venture out to attend a hot yoga class. Maybe by then I’ll be a little less sore and a little more flexible. I may have even found a yogi friend or two, already, through all my excited ramblings. Hoping they can teach me a thing or two.

 Is there anything new you’ve been working to integrate into your life? A new habit? A new hobby? Tell me about it.

Marriage is not easy. Its not all butterflies, snuggles, holding hands and love letters. Its often uncomfortable, frustrating, and downright hard sometimes. Do I love my husband? Of course. Do I always like him? Next question, please.

I will proudly say, though, that I have grown so much in the past three and half years we’ve been together. I owe a lot of it to him. He is my best friend, an awesome partner, and my biggest challenger. He calls me out when I’ve crossed a line and backs me up when I’ve been challenged. He’s my biggest cheerleader but I still haven’t been able to get him in one of the uniforms.

Yes, this is a very old photo.

But like I said, it isn’t all fun and games. Since we’re still a young couple, its often rough and stressful. We’re both growing individually. We’re also still learning how to work together and take the other’s feelings and desires into consideration.

Lately, though, Billy–I mean Bill–has been working extra hard on himself. I’m pretty proud of him, so far. He came to me the other day and told me he wanted to start writing about his battles within himself. He’s working towards a better him. A better perspective, better habits and better decisions.

Though he’s no Hemingway, I’m sure his content will be valued by many. And on that note, I think you should go check him out over at his new blog: Becoming Bill. And don’t forget to tell him who sent you.

Here I am posting more than once within a month. Can you remember the last time that happened? That was meant to be a rhetorical question, smarty-pants. A change in my posting frequency can always be a sign of a change(s) in my life. Yep, you got it: I’ve been going through some more changes.

My full time management position has once again effected my school schedule and professional plan. I just can’t make the schedules work together. Not with Lilie Jo waiting at home.

I’ve dropped out completely, now, with the intentions of finishing online. Will it happen this semester? Don’t think so. This year? I hope so. Am I happy about? Ehh. You know me.

I won’t lie, though, I was feeling pretty defeated and discouraged when I first came to the conclusion. I may even be guilty of sulking a bit. But then I kicked myself in the tush and made a change of focus and perspective. Not to mention some encouragement from some really amazing people. Turns out, the pros out-weigh the cons:

• More stable day-to-day home life and routine
• More family time
• More energy
• Less running around
• Less chaotic schedules
• Less stress {all different kinds}
• More time for me {reading, blogging, photography, short trips, crafts}
• More time to serve at church

I’ll be able to focus more of my time and energy into doing the best I can with the career I have now. I’m in a great position and making decent money. Not to mention, this job will look great on a resume, so why not make the best of it and really give it my all? Who knows where it may take me.

And get this: my church just hit a big milestone. For the past year, we’ve been meeting in a theater, which has been very limiting and required us to set up and tear down every week. This past Sunday, though, we tore down for the last time and moved to a permanent location.

How coincidental is that? We’ll now have more freedom to do and more opportunities for growth. Now I’m certain Someone is trying to keep us here {instead of moving away like we originally planned}. These changes give me the opportunity to serve and give more of my time and talents to RLC.

More time for my family {home and church} makes this decision conclusion worth it.

{warning: poor image quality to come}

Another year gone. Though I can’t think of a big long list of events that occurred, a lot has passed, none the less. We are not just older individually, but another year older as a family. Though far from perfect, we’ve had another year to learn to live and work together. Part of me would say we aren’t any closer to achieving our goals, but then I take a deeper look.

time spent playing games as a fmaily is happening more and more

Sure we’re in the same town house, but its more homey and memory-filled than last year.

a few days in the sand hills of nebraska

No, we didn’t go on any vacations to far off tropical places, but we did venture west for a week with loved ones.

another sunday amongst friends at rlc

Yes, we’re still in Kentucky.  But we’ve some how managed to grow some roots, here, with new friends and a church to call home. It might be harder to leave when the time comes. But we’re leaving that timing in His hands, now.

the daily grind at jcp salon

And–big sigh–no, I still haven’t received my degree, but I have landed myself a real, grownup full time job. Though I sometimes despise it, its blessed my family in so many ways. Who knows what other doors it may open for me in the future.

christmas 2012

Sure, our savings account still isn’t where we want it to be, but we were able to have the best Christmas yet, this year. It brought so much joy being able to bless our loved ones with gifts.

I think our biggest accomplishment for 2012 has been our family’s spiritual growth. As a whole, our relationship with God is stronger. Our obedience is more consistant. We have felt His love so strongly this year. He’s saved and blessed us so much. Through Him, our bonds with each other are stronger. We love each other more and forgive each other faster.

No, 2012 may not have been eventful, but it was a blessed one, indeed. More than going and doing, we were growing and learning. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us in 2013.

Oh my goodness, darlin’! This past weekend, we had our first ever legitimate family photo session. This customer could not be happier. I want to share some of my favorites that weren’t already posted on Facebook.

We went to a sweet lady I know in the Bowling Green area. I met Allison through one of my close friends, Autumn. She’d actually taken her girls to Allison a few times, herself. I’ve checked out her website several times just for the fun of it. So, when it came time for family photos, I knew exactly who I wanted to do them. Especially when that very week, she notified me of a photo contest she was putting on. That really sealed the deal right there.

We picked the location rather last minute. Another good friend of mine had actually posted a drive-by photo of this old condemned house just outside of town. As soon as I saw the photo, I knew that was it. I hurried to pull the location out of her so Billy and I could go check it out for ourselves. It was love at first sight, I guess you could say.

I feel like Allison really caught the love and togetherness of our little family. We’re an intimate little unit. We’re definitely not the ideal or perfect family, by any means. A little rough around the edges. Its a result of divorce, remarriage, three last names, ex-military, every other weekends away, self-improvement, sometimes chaos, crazy schedules and any number of other things at any given moment. But I like to think of it as ‘character.’ Like an old house. Lived in, worn, enjoyed to the last drop…. seasoned.

You know the saying “home is where the heart is?” Well, my heart is with them. Where they go, I go.  Where I go, they go. Our family may be little, but its strong and so full of character and love. I couldn’t be more blessed.

So, if you’re ever in the Bowling Green area and looking for a photographer, look Allison Wicker up. I can pretty much promise you won’t be disappointed. I can’t wait to get her work up on the walls.

Hey there, darlin’! Can you believe Autumn is finally at our door step? I couldn’t be more happy.  That is, unless I had more time to be able to enjoy it! I’ve been a busy girl indeed.  I’ve been designing, mothering, wifing, leading the salon and trying to stay as organized as possible as to not lose my sanity.  I got lucky enough to have a day off of work to be able to spend the morning out here soaking up the crisp air with my coffee.

Today I wanted to share my first project of the school semester with you. We were to create a typographical design for our bucket lists. I originally planned to design around the idea of hair with phrases mingling in with the strands. However, that design ended up just frustrating the fire out of me.

I thought the hair would, obviously, represent my hair profession, while the design its self would explain my other career half.

click for larger image

At the last minute, I came up with a whole new idea I liked even better. I’ve always been a fan for cameos. Though my collection is near non-existant, I love their classic beauty. I love that cameos have stretched across many eras, yet are still easily modernized.

Maybe that’s how I think of myself: a modern woman trying to live a classic life.

What kind of visual design/image/idea do you think would best represent you?

In case you didn’t notice, I haven’t been around much lately.  Since I’ve gone back to the salon {full time}, volunteered to take on an extra responsibility or two for our amazing church, I’ve found I don’t want to spend much more time on anything other than my family/home.

So, what have I been up to lately?

1. Spending as much time as possible soaking up the sunshine in my favorite spot.
2. After hours, with my love.
3. Trying to keep as much of the same eating habits as when cooking was my job.
4. Driving across southern Kentucky to help out a salon in need.
5. Enjoying the quiet morning hours before the clients start rolling in.
6. Goofing off and helping my favorite lady figure out life as a kindergardener.
7. Trying not to feel like this.
8. And drinking too much of this.

Leading the salon is a job full of never ending works-in-progress.  I go nonstop while I’m there and yet at the same time see little finished when I leave.  I’m a person that likes to finish a project before moving on to the next.  I like the satisfaction of completion; closure, maybe? So this new way of working is taking some adjusting. I’m trying to find my routine, there. Not to mention build trust, respect and rapport with my stylists. They need a lot of lovin’ in there.

I’m only taking two classes this semester: Copy & Layout and Women’s Studies {Billy is thrilled about the latter}.  Two is still more than enough. I guess I’m a bit surprised by how mentally exhausting my job is. I’m going to have to work my butt off to stay organized and sain, this semester. Full night’s rest, proper eating habits and Sundays will be my saving grace. We’ve been mattress shopping, so that will help, too.

Basically, I’m apologizing for my recent absence, my lack of posting. I’m also apologizing for the fact that I don’t see it getting much better any time soon. Forgive me if I only post once or twice a week. I’m also keeping up with social media for another entity.

I hope you’ll keep up with me in other ways, though. I post daily on my Twitter and Instagram {@littlewishball}.

Will you be trying anything new in the near future? Are you nervous or worried about how you’ll handle it? I’m stressin’ over here, darlin’! Who’s with me?!